“What exactly is it that you want?” asked the sage of the young man. “It has taken you quite awhile to seek my council, so you must have some idea at this point.”

“well…” stuttered the unsure boy as he searched for the best answer he could come up with. “I guess I want a companion, yeah, that’s the word I was looking for.” Getting more sure of himself, the young man continued. “I’ve always wanted someone to like me, to want to be with me, to appreciate me.”

“It sounds like that’s what you're looking for in all your relationships, is it?”  replied the sage. This rare visit from the young man was quite unexpected and for the most part the sage had been on the listening end.

“Absolutely. I want the people around me to like me; I want friends that re-fuel me, people that are fun to be around. I guess that’s what I want from her as well and that’s why I’m thinking of asking her to be my wife.”

“What is it that you like about her?” questioned the sage.

“A few years ago I made a list of 12 things I was looking for in a partner.  All the other girls I’ve dated only met a few, but this one fits almost all of my standards.  I just hope things don’t fall apart like last time.”

Though the sage could have pierced the young man with harsh words, he stayed peaceful. “I am disturbed by the way you look at relationships young man. It seems that the only constant in all the things you want is you wanting them.”

“Huh?”

“You’ve set up your criteria for others to even be considered your friends. Some meet your standard and some don’t, correct?”

“Yeah, so?” said the puzzled young man.

“It seems that the only persons interests you are looking out for are your own. What if you started looking to the best interests of others? What if you did things that were best for those around you?  We were all meant to be in relationships and being in relationships means putting someone before yourself, putting your passions and desires second to them. Every person has an intrinsic need not only to be known, but to know others. Only when you decide to start giving to those around you, looking to their best interests, will the hole inside you be filled.”

“I've never thought about it like that before,” said the young man as he began fidgeting. “I should probably think about what you've said." His eyes began to wander as he thought of a way to end the conversation. "Well, It looks like it’s about time for me to go. I have been asking God to give me someone for along time; he does so much for me. I’m pretty sure she is the one, but I’ll definitely think about what you’ve said. You know, it's been a long time since I've come to hear from you and now that I think about it, I forgot your name sage?”

“My name,” replied the sage, “is Humility.”